In any situation where I am bored, and time moves like molasses, I like to ask myself a ridiculous question. The question always has five answers. Basically, it’s the desert island style questions but absurd. In this series, “Fast Five”, I will answer some jam band related ones. Maybe even some reader submitted questions.


Phish is playing Sesame Street, who are you jamming with?


5 - Elmo

Yes, Elmo woos. But Elmo also rides the rails like no other. Always energetic and dancing, Elmo loves a good “Mike’s>Groove”.


4 - The Count

With The Count in your group, you don’t have to worry about stats. He’s in lawn taking care of all the numbers. When Backwards Down the Number Line is played, everyone goes and joins his dance circle. He will count everyone as they enter.


3 - Cookie Monster

Just ride to the show with Cookie. He has all your lot food needs covered. Plus, he has special Phish cookies for set 2. Cookie is an excellent concert pal who will save your spot. Let’s hope he gets the Pebbles and Marbles he has been chasing since 2003.


2 - Grover

Grover can get you an extra, guaranteed. He somehow knows everyone on lot, the road crew, and working the venue. On Sundays he breaks out the Super Grover suit and the place goes wild. Once during the peak of Stash Super Grover flew over the crowd dropping glow sticks and afterwards, he picked them all up so no one else had too. He’s just a good dude.


1 - Ernie

Ernie is the phan you think you are. He is super chill and rages hard both sets. Ernie carries extra water for other people and always picks the correct set closer by song 5. Even though he doesn’t woo, he stops anyone from telling Elmo not to woo. After the show, back on lot he’ll play saxophone until daybreak. His favorite song is the one the band is playing right now.


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